By Simon Fischler
I have come up with a brilliant idea for how U.S. President Barack Obama can finally achieve Middle East peace and force upon us Israelis the notion that national suicide is a good thing.
What Obama needs to do is simple, very simple; he will introduce a Big Brother Arab Dictator season for either CNN or the BBC.
This reality TV show will include all Arab and Muslim leaders who are mass murdering their own people.
Together these great leaders will use their genius to find a way to blame the atrocities they commit against their own people on Israel and have the UN force on Israel a Palestinian State based on lies.
This is no easy task, especially when dealing with us dastardly Israelis.
So, Obama will need real All-Stars. He will need to get Mohammar Qaddafi of Libya, Bashar al Assad of Syria, Recipe Erdogan of Turkey, Sheik Hassan Nashrallah of Hezbollah, Khlaed Mashal of Hamas and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran all together in one house.
But, I am afraid this will not be enough to convince us awful Israelis of the bonuses of ceding our freedom and self-determination in our land for something better, like living under a tyrannical Arab dictator.
So Obama is going to have to stack his deck to forge peace on international television.
Along with these great leaders of freedom and Liberalism, Obama will get the UN to loan Ban Ki Moon to this peace-seeking Big Brother Cast.
But Obama cannot stop there; this final push in Obama’s quest for Enduring Peace in the Middle East is really going to need some media and celebrity credibility.
Without that today, you are lost on a peace quest.
Along with the aforementioned leaders, Obama should recruit Tom Friedman, Gideon Levy, Oliver Stone, Charlie Sheen, Sean Penn,Vanessa Redgrave and maybe even Dwayne Wade and Lebron James, if they are not too sick.
Together this Super team of Peace Seekers will carry the Obama banner until they finally get us Israelis to see the light and commit national suicide -- which apparently everyone knows is best for the Jews.
Yes, this is truly the best way of seeking peace in the Middle East.
Forget about demanding that the Palestinians actually take responsibility for their actions. Forget about forcefully stopping the Syrian government from MASS MURDERING its citizens.
No, the key to Middle East peace is destroying the only democracy in the area, which just happens also to be home to the freest Arabs in the world.
This is an unbeatable concept for Obama and fits right into his past Mideast foreign policies.
This time he cannot go wrong.
Maybe after we Israelis have committed national suicide, another reality TV show can be created, where the Jews are dispersed throughout the world (since it's clear they will no longer be allowed to live peacefully in the former Israel).
We can call it the Diaspora.
But wait; hasn’t that been done before? And, if I recall correctly, it didn’t work out so well, did it?