IDEAS YOU WON'T FIND IN HAARETZ

By Shmoel Yitzhak

ONCE OVER LIGHTLY BUT NOT POLITELY

* Will someone be kind enough to give Barak Obama a non-Arabic map of the Middle East. Ensure that it has a large arrow pointing at Israel, which is not that far from Cairo.

* Then, perhaps, one of his cerebral advisors -- perhaps the Jewish one whose father is a doctor -- can remind the empty suit passing for a president that he has yet to visit the Jewish nation to which he keeps giving instructions.

* Three journalists have Middle East politics better analyzed than any of their colleagues in the world. They are the Jerusalem Post's Caroline Glick, Sarah Honig and Barry Rubin.

* I would be very, very disturbed if I learned that Bibi Netanyahu did not read their stuff -- digest it fully -- and learn from what they're telling him.

* This isn't Murphy's Law so we call it Moishe's Law. "Give an Arab politician something for nothing in return and you always will be a slap in the face as a bonus.

* Or, has everyone forgotten the "bonus" Israel received from exiting Lebanon and Gaza.

* Unless you happen to like rockets for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

* And let us not forget for one minute that the Gaza "truce" is holding so well that Hamas continues to allow -- encourage? -- continuous Gaza-based attacks as far as Ashkelon.

* Of course, Judge Goldstone would examine one of those burning rockets and suggest that it would go good with matzoh.

* It would be heartening to know that there is more than one professor in the Good, Old USA who can defend Israel -- and rip its enemies -- with the insight and passion of an Allan Dershowitz.

* Definition of "naive:" Believing that the proposed sanctions against Iran will cause Ahmadinejad to do anything but: 1. Yawn; 2. Smirk; 3. Order his nuclear scientists to hurry-up with the bomb.

* The "Iron Dome" missile defense system makes a lot of sense -- on paper. But to put too much faith on its unerring ability to be a deterrent is a case of putting too much faith in science and too little in reality.

* An Israeli soldier remains alive -- we hope -- and in Hamas' captivity. How come the likes of Goldstone, the United Nations or even President Obama haven't demanded that he be returned without any pre-conditions?

* Can you imagine how long Haaretz would be in business if it were delivering the same daily anti-government messages in, say, Egypt, Syria or Iran? Answer: Maybe two days. One day for the dictators to do a double-take, thinking the stories were the result of typographical errors; and the second day to wreck the presses, computers and the folks behind the stories.

* Biggest transportation mistakes in Israel: 1. Failure to extend the railway system to Eilat and Metulla; 2. Not starting construction on a Tel Aviv subway two decades ago; 3. Inadequate campaigns against unsafe driving throughout the country.

* Mr. Hariri in Lebanon wants the "international community" to impose a Middle East peace on the rivals. Among card-players, that's called stacking the deck.

* Hilary Clinton could use a map of Israel as well.