Wednesday, February 3, 2016

CHASING THE SCHMUCKS AWAY

By Schmoel Yitzhak

Every so often I hear from friends that they wake up depressed about the news.

Specifically, how everyone from the Swedish leaders to Hamas to Hezbollah endlessly threaten, dump on and otherwise revile Israel.

Surely, if you're an Israeli Jew or a Jew in the Diaspora who cares about the Jewish Homeland, you're apt to feel blue.

If there's any panacea, it must include prayer and/or the ability to accentuate the positive. Which of course is easier to say than do.

No matter how difficult the situation Jews -- over the century -- have had the ability to smile through tough times; and tougher times and times tougher than that.

Perhaps, with the above in mind, I can produce a chuckle or two with my First Unofficial Schmuck List of Israel And Jew Haters.

The following, by the way, is not meant alphabetically but rather just off the top of my head -- or ass -- as the case may be:

* JOHN KERRY: If schmucks were measured by height, this bum would be King of the Hill; as in Capitol Hill. To a ventriloquist, Kerry comes out the dummy to Obama's strings.

* NASRALLAH: This Hezbollah honcho does most of his bragging from his billion dollar underground bunker. When he does surface his braggadocio simply equates to bullshit. Come out, come out wherever you are, Schmuck.

* BARACK OBAMA: This clown has re-defined "forked tongued." There must be dozens of species of snakes who are jealous of this pernicious imitation of a viper. Just based on his deal with the mullahs, B.O. (as in bad odor) comes off as Schmuck To The Radical 50.

* ANY IRANIAN MULLAH: Give them credit for playing (or maybe working with) Obama for the putz that he is but when it comes to the endless threats to Israel, one can only suggest that as schmucks go, these are the most dangerous.

* MRS. CLINTON: She's following in the steps of Obama's anti-Israel policies. That makes her a classic Schmuck-ess in long pants.

* BERNIE SANDERS: G-D help the Jewish Nation if this man is actually elected president. 

And you know the rest.


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