By Schmoel Yitzhak
If you had a dollar for every theory on Egypt's future, you just might be able to match the figures in President Hosni Mubarak's bank account which now total a few billion bucks.
Nobody in the Arab world knows precisely how the post-Mubarak Egypt will emerge because the variables are endless.
In Israel, it is a different story and I hope that Benjamin Netanyahu is aware of the choices.
The choices are, really, a take-off on the Hollywood comedy, "Dumb and Dumber." Only this time there's nothing amusing about the options.
My title would be "Bad and Bader."
Consider the two "favorites" to displace Mubarak -- Mohamed ElBaradei and Amr Moussa.
That pair of Arab "leaders" offer different platforms and divergent supporters but they share on common belief -- a hatred of Israel.
Determining which is the bigger phony is like making a dessert choice between cyanide and poison gas. No matter how you shake it, they're both death warmed over in a Brooks Brothers suit.
ElBaradei is cloaked in a few layers of pseudo-respectability. He is the former director of the International Atomic Energy Agency.
After all, he is a Nobel Peace laureate and if you believe in the Nobel Peace prize then you also believe in Dumbo, the flying elephant, and Pinocchio's ability to tell the truth without his nose becoming the size of a cane.
ElBaradei's other claim to "fame" -- better to call it infamy -- was his former position as the United Nations nuclear watchdog. Having ElBaradei insuring that Iran develop a peaceful nuclear program was roughly equivalent to appointing a wolf to guard the hen house.
Throughout his UN stint ElBaradei did just about everything to aid the iranian nuclear program short of providing Mullahs with America's atomic blueprints on a silver platter.
But the UN being the UN, ElBaradei's administration was allowed to move along on its perfidious path without meaningful challenge from either the European Union or any of the other self-styled "objective" world organizations so willing to tell Israel how to protect itself.
It's fascinating to note how ElBaradei suddenly assigned himself the title of "Egyptian opposition leader" since most insightful political observers report that he has virtually no following in Egypt where he has spent precious little time in recent years.
The man sure has connections because he wound up on NBC's Meet The Press on Sunday spewing the usual assortment of lies so easily accepted by the naive -- or is it stupid? -- American media.
ElBaradei's big lie was his assertion that Egypt's peace treaty with Israel was "rock solid" and would remain so no matter who succeeds Mubarak.
That reminds me of the Japanese ambassador to the United States at the White House on December 7, 1941 telling America's Secretary of State Cordell Hull that Nippon's relations with Uncle Sam are nothing but ginger-peachy. Meanwhile Emperor Hirohito's airplanes were bombing Pearl Harbor, destroying the U.S. fleet and killing thousands of Americans.
There's nothing cheaper than diplomatic talk.
Bibi surely knows better than to believe ElBaradei or any of the other Arab stooges jockeying for power in the wake of endless rioting in Cairo.
Stooge B happens to be Amr Moussa, the Arab League secretary, who becomes a potential Mubarak successor merely because of his cozy position with Arab diplomats.
Unfortunately, his friendship toward the only democracy in the Middle East could be defined as somewhat to the left of zero. Jerusalem will get no favors from Moussa.
Which brings us to the question: is there an Egyptian figure on whom Netanyahu can rely?
Could it possibly be Egyptian Vice President Omar Suleiman who -- in an attempt to save Egypt -- recently has met with opposition groups such as the officially banned Muslim Brotherhood?
If you believe in long, longshots, there's an outside chance that Suleiman might -- just might -- take a reasonable stance toward Israel. But reality tells me that the Brotherhood won't let that ever happen.
As a matter of fact, why should any Egyptian leader be expected to do Bibi any favors when you consider how perfidious the American administration has been?
One month Barack Obama is hugging Mubarak and the next month he's figuratively stabbing the beleaguered Egyptian leader in the back.
Then there's the America's Secretary of Defeat, Hilary Clinton, who now is cow-towing to the Muslim Brotherhood as if the MB is as peaceful as Costa Rica.
All the Muslim Brotherhood would like is to see Israel eliminated from the face of the earth -- same plank as Hamas and Hezbollah -- and now we see the ever-appeasing Clinton giving the Brotherhood a sisterly pat on the back.
A realistic, rational Israeli leader must understand that -- in terms of Egypt's eventual fate - Israel has no friend in the White house nor in Europe and certainly not in Cairo.
If Bibi is as insightful as I hope he is, Israel's policy should work from a worst-case scenario while fervently hoping for the best.
The reality of Cairo demands a realistic response in Jerusalem!