THE MESSAGE

By Simon Fischler

Am I going crazy? How does a douche bag, hypocrite like Thomas Friedman get printed?

Can someone explain this to me?

In all seriousness, how is it possible that this colossal asshole still gets to comment on the Israeli Prime Minister for a newspaper like The New York Times?

This fool (“Some of my best friends are Jews AND Palestinians”), who sits in his multimillion-dollar mansion in Maryland, is devoid of any idea of the real world, ESPECIALLY when it comes to the Middle-East.

In the last year alone this man has been wrong about everything happening in the Middle East. This is the idiot who told Israel not to worry about the fall of Hosni Mubarak. Yeah, Tommy, Egypt is looking real good (as in, the Egypt-to-Israel pipeline just was bombed for the 10th time, while the Muslim Brotherhood and worse are taking over the country).

Oh yeah, Big Tom the Bomb promised freedom in Libya, too. Wrong again, you schmuck, at least if you are a Jew. Tom, ask David Gerbi about that freedom you predicted. Gerbi, a Libyan Jew whose family was kicked out of Libya (like all the other Jews), came back to fight side by side with his Libyan CO-patriots against Gaddafi. When the war was finished and Gaddafi was, too, David tried to pray. This is what the Arabs had to say to Gerbi, “No place for Jews in Libya."

Tom, Obama should hook you up with a government defense job; the two of you can lose the entire Middle East to the Islamists and Iran in a matter of days!

The fact that The Times keeps Friedman on board says something very important about their honesty. Maybe Friedman had a clue back in the day when he actually worked for a story. But it’s pathetic that The Times is willing to employ a jaded fat cat who refuses to look at reality and basically lives off his wife’s millions.

Does Thomas Friedman think just because he is Jewish he has the right to be overtly anti-Semitic? When you say, as Friedman did, that the Jews have bought Congress, you are on the same level as the Czar’s secret police who wrote The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

Tom, these members of Congress do not work for The New York Times, nor do most of them have your wife’s millions. If they were to do something as blatantly wrong as what you are implying, their constituents would vote them out in a second. It is too bad the media is not democratic, because your ass should have been voted out a long time ago.

Hey, Tom, Newt Gingrich was historically 100 percent correct when he said the Palestinians are a made-up people.

I know you do not like this, because if people actually start telling the truth, as Gingrich did, your kind would go the way of the Dodo.

I have never been a fan of Gingrich; but man, how sad a world we live in when a politician is defamed for being honest. It is pathetic that the ultimate charlatan Friedman gets to call Gingrich a Panderer to the Jews because he finally stood up to the Arab/Oil lobby and told the truth.

You see, Tom, some of us are very aware of the fact that the only people who truly have the money and resources to "buy" anyone are the Arab/Muslim/Oil Barons who, sadly, are still running and shaping this world.

Tom, a fat-cat aristocrat like yourself probably gets a good chunk of money from some Arab Sheik to keep bashing Israel -- it has simply been laundered so that you think you can safely deny being in their pockets. So stop calling yourself a friend of Israel; that is just an unfunny joke. YOU ARE NO FRIEND OF ISRAEL!

When you are not turning tricks for the P.A. or The Times (which is obviously turning tricks for the oil lobby), you are intentionally making Israel and its pragmatic leadership look bad by carefully and insidiously condemning them for doing what is right for a DEMOCRATIC, JEWISH, ISRAEL. That means not caving into the colonialist aspirations of Fatah, the Palestinian Authority, Hamas or Hezbollah (who, in turn, are mere fronts for more insidious forces, like Iran or Saudi Arabia)

Tom, I know the majority of the people who read your egregious fallacies do not have the time to do their homework. Sadly, they trust you to be honest with them; and that trust gets flushed down the toilet with every single one of your anti-Israel articles in The Times.

These people will probably never know how distant from the truth you have become. They will not know your words often reek like the shit stains of a drunkard’s undies; that your superficially reasoned and honeyed words are but a mask for filth and infamy.

Ah, if I could resurrect the late Israeli Ambassador to the UN, Abba Eban, and combine his DNA with that of Alan Dershowitz, we’d make mincemeat of your not-so-disguised misanthropy and mendacity towards Israel.

With "friends" like you, Tom, who needs enemies?